[MUD-Dev] IMPORTANT NEW GRAPHICAL MUD

[Matt Mihaly]

I am very pleased to be able to announce to the list a new graphical
MUD that is likely to revolutionize the industry. Frankly, it does
things that no commercial product in development or release has even
thought to do. Before I prejudice you against it by giving you the web
site address, let me tell you a little bit about the game.

Firstly, let's look at its name. A game like Ultima Online or
Asheron's Call only has two words. Everquest only has one for crying
out loud. Star Wars: Galaxies is obviously an improvement here, as it
adds a third word to the title. However, have you ever heard a name
better than, "Dragon Fantasy Mystic Shadow Dungeon Horizon Event
Online 7"??? I thought not. It's name alone paints a picture of future
success for it.

Now, as to the feature set, there are a few things about it that I
consider truly impressive.
 
  1) A graphical engine second to none. I quote, "Lens flares! Our
  lens flare generator creates up to 600 lens flares at ONCE! It's
  common knowledge that lens flares make a game look "advanced", so a
  good portion of our game technology has been devoted to creating the
  largest amount of lens flares as possible.

  2) The admin team. Again, I quote, "Tremendously helpful GMs! We
  here at "Team Racecar" firmly believe that gamers want quantity over
  quality, so we have employed the services of over 400,000 South
  Korean children to be GMs for our game (in exchange for free
  accounts). The gaming dynamos will be ready and willing to help you
  out with whatever problem you may experience, as they spend
  approximately 26 hours a day online (per person). As everybody
  knows, Koreans are the most helpful and coherent gamers on the
  planet, so we feel this will benefit gamers the most."

  3) The revolutionary Play-time Moderating System (PMS). This
  revolutionary system will crash your computer every few minutes,
  ensuring that no one gets addicted. John Buehler, I think they may
  have put in this feature as per your posts on the evils of MUD
  addiction.

  4) They've solved the problem of camping and whatnot. "An unlimited
  supply of enemies! Our patented Penultimate 3D engine makes sure
  that every single enemy spawns on time every time! If the enemy
  hasn't already been killed, then the next one spawns inside of
  it. If that enemy hasn't been killed, then the next one spawns
  inside him. Ever been attacked by a 50000-handed Orc High Priest? 
  You soon will! To address the inevitable issue of spawn problems, we
  have made our patented Penultimate 3D game engine spawn every single
  enemy in every single map location possible. No more camping
  respawns because who knows where those pesky level 600 Lava Dogs
  will show up!" Take that Everquest!

  5) Imagine my horror when I counted up how many types of raccoon
  Achaea has, and discovered that we only have ONE. DMFSDHEO 7, on the
  other hand, has 12 kinds. Sleeping, "regular", black, rabid, flying,
  demonic, dancing, large wizened, giant, Raccoon Lords, and the
  Raccoon Hive Queen. Raccoons also play a prominent part in the world
  in terms of serving as steeds. For instance, there are Light Red Orc
  Raccoon Riders, the Red Swamp Slime Raccoon Riders, the the Red
  Turbo Swamp Slime Raccoon Riders (disguised as Alien Ghost Vice
  President), the Red Hitler Riding Robot Raccoon, and so on. You can
  even battle a Hitler disguised as a raccoon, as well as a mummy
  disguised as a raccoon.

  6) To increase replay value, the world re-arranges itself every time
  someone logs in. So while the coordinates for where you logged out
  will be the same for when you log in, the world will rearrange
  itself everytime someone logs in, thus adding endless exploration
  possibilities.

  7) Explosive water. 'Nuff said.

www.somethingawful.com is where information about DFMSDHEO7 may be
found. 

Signing off and very excited by this outstanding game, I'm 
--matt

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